US practical help
The paperwork can wait a few days. When you’re ready, here is where to start, with the official page for each. General information only, not legal advice.
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After a death
Bereavement leave from work
No federal law requires an employer to give or pay for leave after a death: the Department of Labor calls it a matter of agreement between employer and employee.1 A few states require leave, usually unpaid unless you use paid leave you already have. Your employer's own policy may give more, so ask HR what it says. Leave for a death is often a few days; the iddah is longer, so see also religious accommodation below.
Some states give more
- CA
- Employers with 5 or more employees: up to 5 days after a spouse's death, completed within 3 months; unpaid unless you use other paid leave. (CRD FAQ dated March 2023.)2 Official page ↗
- IL
- Eligible employees of public employers and private employers with 50 or more employees: up to 10 workdays of unpaid leave, completed within 60 days of notice of the death; 1,250 hours worked in the prior 12 months.3 Official page ↗
- OR
- Employers with 25 or more employees: up to 2 weeks per family member, within 60 days of learning of the death; unpaid unless paid leave is applied; eligibility is an average of 25 hours a week for 180 days.4 Official page ↗
- MD
- Employers with 15 or more: you may use paid leave you have already earned (sick, vacation) for the death of a spouse, child or parent. It adds no new days.5 Official page ↗
- WA
- Unverified. A 2025 vendor report of expanded bereavement leave under Washington Paid Leave could not be confirmed on any official Washington page on 18 Oct 2026, so no detail is given here. Ask Paid Leave directly.6 Official page ↗
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Either
Asking work for a religious accommodation
Under Title VII, an employer must reasonably accommodate an employee's religious practice unless it would be an undue hardship, and that includes schedule changes or leave for religious observance.7 Since Groff v. DeJoy (2023), undue hardship means a burden that is substantial in the overall context of the employer's business, not just more than a small cost.8 The request need not be in writing and needs no "magic words"; the employer has to know you need it for a religious reason.910 The employer may ask for more information or offer a different arrangement. No federal source opened for this page addresses iddah by name.
A sample request (a sample only, not legal advice; it does not guarantee any outcome)
Dear [manager or HR], My husband died on [date] / My marriage ended on [date]. As a Muslim, I am observing a religious waiting period (iddah) until about [date]. During this time my religious practice is to [be home every night / avoid travel / avoid adornment]. I am asking for a religious accommodation so I can keep doing my job during this period. Some options that would work for me: [a day shift instead of nights / working from home on some days / using my leave for part of the time / not traveling for work until (date)]. I am glad to talk about other options that would work for the team. Thank you, [name]
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After a death
Social Security survivor benefits
A widow can get reduced survivor benefits from age 60 (50 with a disability), or at any age while caring for his child under 16 or with a disability. A divorced wife may qualify if the marriage lasted at least 10 years. Remarrying before 60 usually ends eligibility. A one-time $255 payment may go to a spouse who qualifies, applied for within 2 years. Apply promptly: for some claims, payment starts from when you apply. Apply by phone, 1-800-772-1213 (TTY 1-800-325-0778), or at an office.11
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Either
Health insurance after a death or divorce
If you were covered through his job (an employer with 20 or more employees), a death or a divorce lets you keep that plan under COBRA, usually for up to 36 months, but you may pay up to 102% of its cost.1213 For a divorce, you or the employer must tell the plan in time; ask the plan administrator what notice it needs. You may instead get a Marketplace plan: losing coverage because of a divorce or a death opens a 60-day Special Enrollment Period. A divorce without losing coverage does not.14
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Either
Free or low-cost legal help
For a civil divorce, maintenance, housing or benefits, a licensed lawyer in your state can advise on your own case. The Legal Services Corporation finds the nearest legal aid office it funds for low-income people,15 and LawHelp.org lists free legal help and guides by state.16
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After a divorce
Custody of children
Custody is decided under your state's law. We give links only: find family-law help in your state through LawHelp.org16 or the Legal Services Corporation finder.15
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After a death
Immigration: widow of a U.S. citizen
Links only. USCIS explains the green card for a widow of a U.S. citizen, including its filing deadline.17 Talk to an immigration lawyer or a legal aid office before you file anything.
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Either
Immigration: if your husband was abusive (VAWA)
Links only. USCIS explains how a spouse abused by a U.S. citizen or permanent resident can petition for herself, without his knowledge, including after his death or a divorce.18 Talk to an immigration lawyer or a legal aid office first.
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Either
Immigration: victims of crimes (U visa)
Links only. USCIS explains the U visa for victims of certain crimes.19 Talk to an immigration lawyer or a legal aid office first.
Sources
- 1
U.S. Department of Labor, "Funeral Leave"
- 2
California Civil Rights Department, Bereavement Leave FAQ (Gov. Code §12945.7), CRD-E17P-ENG, March 2023
- 3
Illinois Department of Labor, Family Bereavement Leave Act (820 ILCS 154)
- 4
Oregon Bureau of Labor and Industries, Oregon Family Leave Act (OFLA)
- 5
Maryland Department of Labor, Employment Standards guide: Flexible Leave Act (Lab. & Empl. §3-802)
14 more sources, 6 to 19
- 6
Washington Paid Family & Medical Leave, Updates page
- 7
U.S. EEOC, "Religious Discrimination"
- 8
Groff v. DeJoy, 600 U.S. 447 (2023), slip opinion No. 22-174
- 9
U.S. EEOC, "Fact Sheet: Religious Accommodations in the Workplace"
- 10
U.S. EEOC, Compliance Manual Section 12: Religious Discrimination
- 11
Social Security Administration, "Survivors Benefits", Publication No. 05-10084, April 2026
- 12
U.S. Department of Labor, "Continuation of Health Coverage (COBRA)"
- 13
U.S. Department of Labor (EBSA), "An Employee's Guide to Health Benefits Under COBRA"
- 14
HealthCare.gov, "Special Enrollment Period"
- 15
Legal Services Corporation, "I Need Legal Help"
- 16
LawHelp.org (Pro Bono Net)
- 17
USCIS, "Green Card for a Widow(er) of a U.S. Citizen"
- 18
USCIS, "Abused Spouses, Children and Parents" (VAWA self-petition)
- 19
USCIS, "Victims of Criminal Activity: U Nonimmigrant Status"