What to do now
Take one step at a time. Start with the first one that fits where you are today.
-
Are you safe right now?
If you are in danger right now, call 911.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline is free, confidential and open 24/7: call 1-800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or chat at thehotline.org. Deaf and hard-of-hearing callers can reach The Deaf Hotline by videophone at 1-855-812-1001.
After a sexual assault, RAINN's hotline is free, confidential and open 24/7: 1-800-656-4673, text HOPE to 64673, or chat at rainn.org/hotline.
You do not have to stay anywhere you are not safe. Your safety comes first; questions about your iddah can wait until you are safe. The pages on staying in the home explain what the schools say about moving for danger.
If you think someone watches your phone or computer, read this on a device they have never used, and see how to leave this site quickly.1
-
If a former husband is pressuring you
You can talk it through with the National Domestic Violence Hotline, free and confidential, before you decide anything: 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788.
Nothing on this site is proof of your marital status or of when your iddah ends, and it gives no one a say over you. If someone shows you a screenshot of it as proof, it is not.
Whether a divorce took place, or whether a husband took a wife back, is a question for a qualified scholar, asked when you are safe.
If you are not a U.S. citizen and immigration papers are being used against you: USCIS says a spouse abused by a U.S. citizen or permanent resident can petition for herself without the abuser's knowledge.2 Talk to an immigration lawyer or legal aid first.
-
Someone to talk to, confidentially
988 is free and confidential, day and night, for any emotional distress, not only suicide: call or text 988, or chat at chat.988lifeline.org.
Naseeha runs a free, anonymous helpline for Muslims, 1-866-627-3342, which its site says is open 24 hours a day. It is peer support, "Muslim to Muslim"; it is not therapy and does not give religious rulings. You can ask for a woman counselor. Calls may be recorded, and calls from a hidden number may not go through. We have not phoned it ourselves.
HEART's trained survivor advocates offer confidential emotional support, safety-planning questions and referrals, mainly around sexual and gender-based violence. It is not a hotline.
-
A qualified scholar, if your imam is not available or not safe to ask
AMJA, a US assembly of Muslim jurists, runs a free Fatwa Hotline where you can speak to one of its scholars: (916) 239-6233, Monday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday, 2–4 pm Pacific (5–7 pm Eastern). It is not a crisis line, and we have not phoned it ourselves.
Khalil Center offers religious consultation with named scholars by appointment. It is a paid service, billed like its counseling, with financial assistance by income; it is not for emergencies.
You can also ask a scholar at another masjid, or a woman teacher you trust to take your question to one. Your safety never waits on a scholar's answer.
If you call from a shared phone, the number stays in its call log.
Every ruling page on this site shows its sources, so a scholar can check them with you.
-
Ongoing counseling
ICNA Relief's Muslim Family Services offers free counseling, online and in person, with licensed staff, for depression, anxiety, trauma and relationships. Its National Helpline is (844) 412-9809; the page does not give its hours.
Khalil Center offers faith-integrated therapy in person in Illinois and California and online elsewhere; where it is not licensed to practice in your state, it offers spiritual consultation only. Fees apply, with financial assistance by income.
Naseeha offers online therapy at what it calls affordable pricing, with faith-aware therapists "across Canada and the USA".
Sources
- 1
NNEDV Safety Net (techsafety.org), "Exit from this website quickly"
- 2
USCIS, "Abused Spouses, Children and Parents" (VAWA self-petition)