Can someone propose to me during my iddah after a divorce? And what about my former husband?

Another man may not openly propose to a woman in any divorce iddah.¹²³ In a revocable divorce not even a hint is allowed, by consensus; after a final divorce the schools differ on hints.¹⁴⁵ The former husband is a separate case: after a minor final divorce (fewer than three, such as a khulʿ) he may marry her again with a new contract even during the iddah, but not after a third divorce.²⁶⁷

What the four schools say

The schools agree that another man may not openly propose during any iddah, and may not even hint during a revocable divorce. They differ on hints after a final divorce: the Ḥanafī school forbids hints to any divorced woman, while the Mālikī, Shāfiʿī and Ḥanbalī schools allow them.

Ḥanafī الحنفية

A woman in iddah may not be proposed to. A hint is valid in the iddah of death, but not to a divorced woman, by consensus, because it leads to enmity with the man who divorced her.⁵ The man who divorced her finally with fewer than three may marry her again, in the iddah and after it.⁶
Mālikī المالكية

An open proposal to a woman in another man’s iddah is forbidden; the man who divorced her may marry her in her iddah as long as it was not by three.² A hint is allowed in the iddah of a woman divorced finally, and forbidden in a revocable divorce by consensus.⁴
Shāfiʿī الشافعية

No open proposal to a woman in iddah, and no hint to a revocably divorced woman; a hint to a finally divorced woman is permitted in the more apparent view.¹
Ḥanbalī الحنابلة

An open proposal to a finally divorced woman is forbidden, except by a husband to whom she is lawful, such as after a khulʿ. Hinting is forbidden toward a revocably divorced woman, and permitted after a final divorce, whether by three or by khulʿ or a divorce for payment.³

What can change this

After a third divorce the former husband may not marry her again "until she marries a husband other than him."⁷
The Qurʾān on the iddah: "do not determine to undertake a marriage contract until the decreed period reaches its end."⁸

Sources

1

al-Nawawī, Minhāj al-Ṭālibīn (Shāfiʿī), p. 205

Open: al-Nawawī, Minhāj al-Ṭālibīn (Shāfiʿī), p. 205 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026

Read the passage: source 1

تحل خطبة خلية عن نكاح وعدة لا تصريح لمعتدة ولا تعريض لرجعية ويحل تعريض في عدة وفاة وكذا البائن في الأظهر

It is permitted to propose to a woman free of marriage and of iddah. No explicit proposal to a woman in iddah, and no hint to a revocably divorced woman. Hinting is permitted in the iddah of death, and likewise to a finally divorced woman in the more apparent view.
2

al-Dardīr, al-Sharḥ al-Kabīr ʿalā Mukhtaṣar Khalīl, with Ḥāshiyat al-Dasūqī (Mālikī), 2:217

Open: al-Dardīr, al-Sharḥ al-Kabīr ʿalā Mukhtaṣar Khalīl, with Ḥāshiyat al-Dasūqī (Mālikī), 2:217 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026

Read the passage: source 2

وَ) حَرُمَ (صَرِيحُ) (خِطْبَةِ) امْرَأَةٍ (مُعْتَدَّةٍ) بِكَسْرِ الْخَاءِ مِنْ غَيْرِهِ بِمَوْتٍ أَوْ طَلَاقٍ لَا مِنْ طَلَاقِهِ هُوَ فَيَجُوزُ لَهُ تَزْوِيجُهَا فِي عِدَّتِهَا مِنْهُ حَيْثُ لَمْ يَكُنْ بِالثَّلَاثِ

An explicit proposal to a woman in another man's iddah, from death or divorce, is forbidden; not in an iddah from his own divorce, for he may marry her in her iddah from him as long as it was not by three.
3

al-Buhūtī, Kashshāf al-Qināʿ ʿan Matn al-Iqnāʿ (Ḥanbalī), 5:18

Open: al-Buhūtī, Kashshāf al-Qināʿ ʿan Matn al-Iqnāʿ (Ḥanbalī), 5:18 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026

Read the passage: source 3

وَيُحَرَّمُ التَّصْرِيحُ وَهُوَ مَا لَا يَحْتَمِلُ غَيْرَ النِّكَاحِ بِخِطْبَةِ مُعْتَدَّةٍ بَائِنٍ) قَالَ فِي الْمُبْدِعِ: بِالْإِجْمَاعِ وَسَنَدُهُ قَوْله تَعَالَى: {وَلا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا عَرَّضْتُمْ بِهِ مِنْ خِطْبَةِ النِّسَاءِ} [البقرة: ٢٣٥] وَلِأَنَّهُ لَا يُؤْمَنُ أَنْ يَحْمِلَهَا الْحِرْصُ عَلَى النِّكَاحِ عَلَى الْإِخْبَارِ بِانْقِضَاءِ عِدَّتِهَا قَبْلَ انْقِضَائِهَا وَالتَّعْرِيضُ بِخِلَافِهِ (إلَّا لِزَوْجٍ تَحِلُّ لَهُ) كَالْمُخْتَلِعَةِ لِأَنَّهُ يُبَاحُ لَهُ نِكَاحُهَا فِي عِدَّتِهَا … وَيَحْرُمُ) أَيْضًا (تَعْرِيضٌ وَهُوَ مَا يُفْهَمُ مِنْهُ النِّكَاحُ مَعَ احْتِمَالِ غَيْرِهِ) أَيْ غَيْرِ النِّكَاحِ (بِخِطْبَةِ) مُطَلَّقَةٍ (رَجْعِيَّةٍ) لِأَنَّهَا فِي حُكْمِ الزَّوْجَاتِ … وَيَجُوزُ) التَّعْرِيضُ (فِي عِدَّةِ الْوَفَاةِ وَالْبَائِنِ بِطَلَاقِ ثَلَاثٍ وَ) الْبَائِنِ (بِغَيْرِ) الطَّلَاقِ (الثَّلَاثِ) كَالْمُخْتَلِعَةِ وَالْمُطَلَّقَةِ عَلَى عِوَضٍ

An explicit proposal to a finally divorced woman in iddah is forbidden, except by a husband to whom she is lawful, such as the woman who took khulʿ, since he may marry her in her iddah. Hinting is forbidden toward a revocably divorced woman, since she is in the position of a wife. Hinting is permitted in the iddah of death, of a final divorce by three, and of a final separation other than three, such as khulʿ or divorce for compensation.
4

al-Dardīr, al-Sharḥ al-Kabīr ʿalā Mukhtaṣar Khalīl, with Ḥāshiyat al-Dasūqī (Mālikī), 2:219

Open: al-Dardīr, al-Sharḥ al-Kabīr ʿalā Mukhtaṣar Khalīl, with Ḥāshiyat al-Dasūqī (Mālikī), 2:219 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026

Read the passage: source 4

وَجَازَ) لِخَاطِبٍ (تَعْرِيضٌ) فِي عِدَّةِ مُتَوَفًّى عَنْهَا أَوْ مُطَلَّقَةٍ بَائِنًا مِنْ غَيْرِهِ، وَأَمَّا الرَّجْعِيُّ فَيَحْرُمُ التَّعْرِيضُ فِيهَا إجْمَاعًا

A suitor may hint during the iddah of a widow or of a woman finally divorced by someone else; in a revocable divorce hinting is forbidden by consensus.
5

Ibn ʿĀbidīn, Radd al-Muḥtār ʿalā al-Durr al-Mukhtār (Ḥanafī), 3:533–534

Open: Ibn ʿĀbidīn, Radd al-Muḥtār ʿalā al-Durr al-Mukhtār (Ḥanafī), 3:533–534 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026

Read the passage: source 5

وَالْمُعْتَدَّةُ) أَيَّ مُعْتَدَّةٍ كَانَتْ عَيْنِيٌّ، فَتَعُمُّ مُعْتَدَّةَ عِتْقٍ وَنِكَاحٍ فَاسِدٍ … تَحْرُمُ خِطْبَتُهَا) بِالْكَسْرِ وَتُضَمُّ. (وَصَحَّ التَّعْرِيضُ) كَأُرِيدُ التَّزَوُّجَ (لَوْ مُعْتَدَّةَ الْوَفَاةِ) لَا الْمُطَلَّقَةَ إجْمَاعًا لِإِفْضَائِهِ إلَى عَدَاوَةِ الْمُطَلِّقِ

A woman in any iddah may not be proposed to. Hinting (such as "I want to marry") is valid for a woman in the iddah of death, not for a divorced woman, by consensus, because it leads to enmity with the man who divorced her.

3 more sources

6

Ibn ʿĀbidīn, Radd al-Muḥtār ʿalā al-Durr al-Mukhtār (Ḥanafī), 3:409

Open: Ibn ʿĀbidīn, Radd al-Muḥtār ʿalā al-Durr al-Mukhtār (Ḥanafī), 3:409 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026

Read the passage: source 6

وَيَنْكِحُ مُبَانَتَهُ بِمَا دُونَ الثَّلَاثِ فِي الْعِدَّةِ وَبَعْدَهَا بِالْإِجْمَاعِ

A man may marry, with a new contract, his wife whom he finally divorced with fewer than three, during her iddah and after it, by consensus.
7

Qurʾān, al-Baqarah 2:230

Open: Qurʾān, al-Baqarah 2:230 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026

Read the passage: source 7

فَإِن طَلَّقَهَا فَلَا تَحِلُّ لَهُۥ مِنۢ بَعْدُ حَتَّىٰ تَنكِحَ زَوْجًا غَيْرَهُۥ ۗ فَإِن طَلَّقَهَا فَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْهِمَآ أَن يَتَرَاجَعَآ إِن ظَنَّآ أَن يُقِيمَا حُدُودَ ٱللَّهِ ۗ وَتِلْكَ حُدُودُ ٱللَّهِ يُبَيِّنُهَا لِقَوْمٍ يَعْلَمُونَ

And if he has divorced her [for the third time], then she is not lawful to him afterward until [after] she marries a husband other than him. And if he [i.e., the latter husband] divorces her [or dies], there is no blame upon them [i.e., the woman and her former husband] for returning to each other if they think that they can keep [within] the limits of Allāh. These are the limits of Allāh, which He makes clear to a people who know [i.e.,understand].
8

Qurʾān, al-Baqarah 2:235

Open: Qurʾān, al-Baqarah 2:235 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026

Read the passage: source 8

وَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا عَرَّضْتُم بِهِۦ مِنْ خِطْبَةِ ٱلنِّسَآءِ أَوْ أَكْنَنتُمْ فِىٓ أَنفُسِكُمْ ۚ عَلِمَ ٱللَّهُ أَنَّكُمْ سَتَذْكُرُونَهُنَّ وَلَـٰكِن لَّا تُوَاعِدُوهُنَّ سِرًّا إِلَّآ أَن تَقُولُوا۟ قَوْلًا مَّعْرُوفًا ۚ وَلَا تَعْزِمُوا۟ عُقْدَةَ ٱلنِّكَاحِ حَتَّىٰ يَبْلُغَ ٱلْكِتَـٰبُ أَجَلَهُۥ ۚ وَٱعْلَمُوٓا۟ أَنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَعْلَمُ مَا فِىٓ أَنفُسِكُمْ فَٱحْذَرُوهُ ۚ وَٱعْلَمُوٓا۟ أَنَّ ٱللَّهَ غَفُورٌ حَلِيمٌ

There is no blame upon you for that to which you [indirectly] allude concerning a proposal to women or for what you conceal within yourselves. Allāh knows that you will have them in mind. But do not promise them secretly except for saying a proper saying. And do not determine to undertake a marriage contract until the decreed period reaches its end. And know that Allāh knows what is within yourselves, so beware of Him. And know that Allāh is Forgiving and Forbearing.

Can someone propose to me during my iddah after a divorce? And what about my former husband?

What the four schools say

Ḥanafī الحنفية

Mālikī المالكية

Shāfiʿī الشافعية

Ḥanbalī الحنابلة

What can change this

Sources

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