Someone has hinted that he would like to marry me. Is that allowed during my iddah, and when can I accept a proposal?

Sources

1. 1

   Qurʾān, al-Baqarah 2:235

   Open: Qurʾān, al-Baqarah 2:235 ↗ · checked Oct 18, 2026

   Read the passage: source 1

   وَلَا جُنَاحَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِيمَا عَرَّضْتُم بِهِۦ مِنْ خِطْبَةِ ٱلنِّسَآءِ أَوْ أَكْنَنتُمْ فِىٓ أَنفُسِكُمْ ۚ عَلِمَ ٱللَّهُ أَنَّكُمْ سَتَذْكُرُونَهُنَّ وَلَـٰكِن لَّا تُوَاعِدُوهُنَّ سِرًّا إِلَّآ أَن تَقُولُوا۟ قَوْلًا مَّعْرُوفًا ۚ وَلَا تَعْزِمُوا۟ عُقْدَةَ ٱلنِّكَاحِ حَتَّىٰ يَبْلُغَ ٱلْكِتَـٰبُ أَجَلَهُۥ ۚ وَٱعْلَمُوٓا۟ أَنَّ ٱللَّهَ يَعْلَمُ مَا فِىٓ أَنفُسِكُمْ فَٱحْذَرُوهُ ۚ وَٱعْلَمُوٓا۟ أَنَّ ٱللَّهَ غَفُورٌ حَلِيمٌ

   There is no blame upon you for that to which you [indirectly] allude concerning a proposal to women or for what you conceal within yourselves. Allāh knows that you will have them in mind. But do not promise them secretly except for saying a proper saying. And do not determine to undertake a marriage contract until the decreed period reaches its end. And know that Allāh knows what is within yourselves, so beware of Him. And know that Allāh is Forgiving and Forbearing.

2. 2

   Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5124 (Ibn ʿAbbās, al-Qāsim and ʿAṭāʾ, on 2:235) · None shown on sunnah.com (Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī; a report of Companions and Successors, not a saying of the Prophet ﷺ)

   Open: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5124 (Ibn ʿAbbās, al-Qāsim and ʿAṭāʾ, on 2:235) ↗ · checked Oct 18, 2026

   Read the passage: source 2

   ‏{‏فِيمَا عَرَّضْتُمْ‏}‏ يَقُولُ إِنِّي أُرِيدُ التَّزْوِيجَ، وَلَوَدِدْتُ أَنَّهُ تَيَسَّرَ لِي امْرَأَةٌ صَالِحَةٌ‏.‏ وَقَالَ الْقَاسِمُ يَقُولُ إِنَّكِ عَلَىَّ كَرِيمَةٌ، وَإِنِّي فِيكِ لَرَاغِبٌ، وَإِنَّ اللَّهَ لَسَائِقٌ إِلَيْكِ خَيْرًا‏.‏ أَوْ نَحْوَ هَذَا‏.‏ وَقَالَ عَطَاءٌ يُعَرِّضُ وَلاَ يَبُوحُ يَقُولُ إِنَّ لِي حَاجَةً وَأَبْشِرِي، وَأَنْتِ بِحَمْدِ اللَّهِ نَافِقَةٌ‏.‏ وَتَقُولُ هِيَ قَدْ أَسْمَعُ مَا تَقُولُ‏.‏ وَلاَ تَعِدُ شَيْئًا

   Ibn `Abbas said: "Hint your intention of marrying' is made by saying (to the widow) for example: "I want to marry, and I wish that Allah will make a righteous lady available for me.' " ... 'Ata said: One should hint his intention, and should not declare it openly. ... She (the widow) may say in reply: I am listening to what you say,' but she should not make a promise.

3. 3

   Ibn ʿĀbidīn, Radd al-Muḥtār ʿalā al-Durr al-Mukhtār (Ḥanafī), 3:534

   Open: Ibn ʿĀbidīn, Radd al-Muḥtār ʿalā al-Durr al-Mukhtār (Ḥanafī), 3:534 ↗ · checked Oct 18, 2026

   Read the passage: source 3

   (تَحْرُمُ خِطْبَتُهَا) بِالْكَسْرِ وَتُضَمُّ. (وَصَحَّ التَّعْرِيضُ) كَأُرِيدُ التَّزَوُّجَ (لَوْ مُعْتَدَّةَ الْوَفَاةِ) لَا الْمُطَلَّقَةَ إجْمَاعًا لِإِفْضَائِهِ إلَى عَدَاوَةِ الْمُطَلِّقِ

   (Any woman in iddah:) proposing to her is forbidden. A hint, such as "I want to marry", is valid if she is in the iddah of death, but not to a divorced woman, by consensus, because it leads to enmity with the man who divorced her.

4. 4

   al-Dasūqī, Ḥāshiyah ʿalā al-Sharḥ al-Kabīr of al-Dardīr (Mālikī), 2:217

   Open: al-Dasūqī, Ḥāshiyah ʿalā al-Sharḥ al-Kabīr of al-Dardīr (Mālikī), 2:217 ↗ · checked Oct 18, 2026

   Read the passage: source 4

   (وَ) حَرُمَ (صَرِيحُ) (خِطْبَةِ) امْرَأَةٍ (مُعْتَدَّةٍ) بِكَسْرِ الْخَاءِ مِنْ غَيْرِهِ بِمَوْتٍ أَوْ طَلَاقٍ لَا مِنْ طَلَاقِهِ هُوَ فَيَجُوزُ لَهُ تَزْوِيجُهَا فِي عِدَّتِهَا مِنْهُ حَيْثُ لَمْ يَكُنْ بِالثَّلَاثِ (وَ) حَرُمَ (مُوَاعَدَتُهَا)

   An explicit proposal to a woman in iddah from another man, whether by death or divorce, is forbidden (not from the man who divorced her, below three divorces), and so is a mutual promise of marriage.

5. 5

   al-Dasūqī, Ḥāshiyah ʿalā al-Sharḥ al-Kabīr of al-Dardīr (Mālikī), 2:219

   Open: al-Dasūqī, Ḥāshiyah ʿalā al-Sharḥ al-Kabīr of al-Dardīr (Mālikī), 2:219 ↗ · checked Oct 18, 2026

   Read the passage: source 5

   (وَجَازَ) لِخَاطِبٍ (تَعْرِيضٌ) فِي عِدَّةِ مُتَوَفًّى عَنْهَا أَوْ مُطَلَّقَةٍ بَائِنًا مِنْ غَيْرِهِ، وَأَمَّا الرَّجْعِيُّ فَيَحْرُمُ التَّعْرِيضُ فِيهَا إجْمَاعًا؛ لِأَنَّهَا زَوْجَةٌ وَهُوَ ضِدُّ التَّصْرِيحِ، ثُمَّ جَوَازُهُ فِي حَقِّ مَنْ يُمَيِّزُ بَيْنَهُمَا، وَأَمَّا غَيْرُهُ فَلَا يُبَاحُ لَهُ (كَفِيك رَاغِبٌ) أَوْ مُحِبٌّ أَوْ مُعْجَبٌ وَأَنْتِ الْآنَ عَلَيْنَا كَرِيمَةٌ وَسَيَأْتِيك مِنْ قِبَلِنَا خَيْرٌ أَوْ رِزْقٌ.

   A suitor may hint (taʿrīḍ) in the iddah of a widow or a finally divorced woman; hinting to a woman in a revocable divorce is forbidden by consensus, because she is still a wife. Examples: "Someone like you is wanted", "you are honored with us", "good will come to you from us".