I did not keep all the rules of my iddah. Did I break it, and do I have to start again?

First, breathe

Many women ask this, often in the first days when no one has explained anything. The texts below speak to it directly, and none of them says the iddah starts over.

If you are a widow and did not keep the mourning

The Ḥanbalī text says the required mourning (iḥdād) is not a condition of the iddah: if she left it on purpose or not on purpose, her iddah still ends when its time is over.¹

The Shāfiʿī text says the same: the iddah ends with the passing of its time, even where she sinned by leaving the mourning.²

A contemporary fatwā says the iddah ends when the time is over "whether the wife adheres to the rulings on mourning or not", and quotes another that a woman who left mourning on purpose should repent and seek forgiveness.³

If you left the house

For a widow, going out by day for a need is allowed in all four schools.⁴⁵ For a divorced woman the schools differ: the Ḥanbalī text allows her too to go out by day for her needs, while the Ḥanafī text says she does not leave her home by night or by day, except for necessity.⁴⁵⁶ A contemporary fatwā about a widow who left home for residency paperwork says she "is not regarded as breaking her ‘iddah".³

If a woman in iddah leaves the home she should stay in without an excuse, the Shāfiʿī text says she sins but her iddah still ends with the passing of its time.² The Mālikī text says a woman who moved out without an excuse is returned to her home.⁷ Neither says the count starts again.

If you found out late

The Ḥanafī text says the iddah begins right after the divorce or the death and ends even if the woman did not know of them.⁸ The Shāfiʿī text says if the news reaches her after the period, it has already ended.²

The Ḥanbalī text gives the well-known view of the school as the same, counting from the day of death or divorce; it also records a report from Aḥmad that without proof, the iddah runs from the day the news reaches her.⁹

If you are divorced

The texts on finding out late cover divorce as well as death: the Ḥanafī text names both, and the Ḥanbalī one too.⁸⁹ The Shāfiʿī rule on leaving the home without excuse is said of any woman in iddah, mourning or not.²

Whether a divorced woman mourns at all depends on the kind of divorce, and is explained on the divorce pages.

What to do next

Keep going from today, with what you now know. If something weighs on you, ask your imam or a woman scholar you trust. If you cannot ask your imam, or do not feel safe asking him, the page What to do now has another way to reach a qualified scholar.

Sources

1

Ibn Qudāmah, al-Mughnī (Ḥanbalī), Maktabat al-Qāhirah edition, 8:170

Open: Ibn Qudāmah, al-Mughnī (Ḥanbalī), Maktabat al-Qāhirah edition, 8:170 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026

Read the passage: source 1

وَسَوَاءٌ فِي هَذَا اجْتَنَبَتْ مَا تَجْتَنِبُهُ الْمُعْتَدَّاتُ، أَوْ لَمْ تَجْتَنِبُهُ، فَإِنَّ الْإِحْدَادَ الْوَاجِبَ لَيْسَ بِشَرْطٍ فِي الْعِدَّةِ، فَلَوْ تَرَكَتْهُ قَصْدًا، أَوْ عَنْ غَيْرِ قَصْدٍ، لَانْقَضَتْ عِدَّتُهَا

(The iddah runs from the day of death or divorce) whether or not she kept away from what women in iddah keep away from: the required iḥdād is not a condition of the iddah, so if she left it on purpose or not on purpose, her iddah still ends.
2

al-Khaṭīb al-Shirbīnī, Mughnī al-Muḥtāj (Shāfiʿī), 5:104

Open: al-Khaṭīb al-Shirbīnī, Mughnī al-Muḥtāj (Shāfiʿī), 5:104 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026

Read the passage: source 2

(وَانْقَضَتْ الْعِدَّةُ) مَعَ الْعِصْيَانِ، وَهَذَا (كَمَا لَوْ فَارَقَتْ الْمُعْتَدَّةُ) الْمُحِدَّةُ أَوْ غَيْرُهَا بِلَا عُذْرٍ (الْمَسْكَنَ) الَّذِي يَجِبُ عَلَيْهَا مُلَازَمَتُهُ بِلَا عُذْرٍ كَمَا سَيَأْتِي فَإِنَّهَا تَعْصِي وَتَنْقَضِي عِدَّتُهَا بِمُضِيِّ الْمُدَّةِ، إذْ الْعِبْرَةُ فِي انْقِضَائِهَا بِانْقِضَاءِ الْعِدَّةِ (وَلَوْ بَلَغَتْهَا الْوَفَاةُ) أَيْ مَوْتُ زَوْجِهَا أَوْ طَلَاقُهُ (بَعْدَ الْمُدَّةِ) لِلْعِدَّةِ (كَانَتْ مُنْقَضِيَةً)

(If she leaves iḥdād) the iddah still ends, along with the sin, just as when a woman in iddah, mourning or not, leaves without excuse the home she must keep to: she sins and her iddah ends when the time passes, since what counts is the passing of the iddah. If news of the death (or divorce) reaches her after the period, it has already ended.
3

IslamQA 101546, "(widow who left home for residency matters)" (contemporary fatwā; source given on the page: Islam Q&A)

Open: IslamQA 101546, "(widow who left home for residency matters)" (contemporary fatwā; source given on the page: Islam Q&A) ↗checked Oct 18, 2026

Read the passage: source 3

This period begins when the husband dies, and ends when the time is over, whether the wife adheres to the rulings on mourning or not, and whether she knows of her husband’s death or not. ... there is nothing wrong with your mother going out to deal with government business, in sha Allah, and she is not regarded as breaking her ‘iddah, because she is going out for a need or for something essential. [Quoting Fatawa al-Lajnah al-Daimah 20/421:] If a woman deliberately does not observe mourning then she is sinning, and she has to repent and seek forgiveness.
4

Ibn Qudāmah, al-Mughnī (Ḥanbalī), Maktabat al-Qāhirah edition, 8:163

Open: Ibn Qudāmah, al-Mughnī (Ḥanbalī), Maktabat al-Qāhirah edition, 8:163 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026

Read the passage: source 4

(٦٣٩٧) فَصْلٌ: وَلِلْمُعْتَدَّةِ الْخُرُوجُ فِي حَوَائِجِهَا نَهَارًا، سَوَاءٌ كَانَتْ مُطَلَّقَةً أَوْ مُتَوَفًّى عَنْهَا. لِمَا رَوَى «جَابِرٌ قَالَ طَلُقَتْ خَالَتِي ثَلَاثًا، فَخَرَجَتْ تَجُذُّ نَخْلَهَا، فَلَقِيَهَا رَجُلٌ، فَنَهَاهَا، فَذَكَرَتْ ذَلِكَ لِلنَّبِيِّ - صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - فَقَالَ اُخْرُجِي، فَجُذِّي نَخْلَك، لَعَلَّك أَنْ تَصَّدَّقِي مِنْهُ، أَوْ تَفْعَلِي خَيْرًا» . رَوَاهُ النَّسَائِيّ، وَأَبُو دَاوُد. وَرَوَى مُجَاهِدٌ، قَالَ: «اُسْتُشْهِدَ رِجَالٌ يَوْمَ أُحُدٍ فَجَاءَتْ نِسَاؤُهُمْ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ - صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - وَقُلْنَ، يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ - صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - نَسْتَوْحِشُ بِاللَّيْلِ، أَفَنَبِيتُ عِنْدَ إحْدَانَا، فَإِذَا أَصْبَحْنَا بَادَرْنَا إلَى بُيُوتِنَا؟ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ - صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ -: تَحَدَّثْنَ عِنْدَ إحْدَاكُنَّ، حَتَّى إذَا أَرَدْتُنَّ النَّوْمَ، فَلْتَؤُبْ كُلُّ وَاحِدَةٍ إلَى بَيْتِهَا» . وَلَيْسَ لَهَا الْمَبِيتُ فِي غَيْرِ بَيْتِهَا، وَلَا الْخُرُوجُ لَيْلًا، إلَّا لِضَرُورَةٍ؛ لِأَنَّ اللَّيْلَ مَظِنَّةُ الْفَسَادِ، بِخِلَافِ النَّهَارِ، فَإِنَّهُ مَظِنَّةُ قَضَاءِ الْحَوَائِج وَالْمَعَاشِ، وَشِرَاءِ مَا يُحْتَاجُ إلَيْهِ.

The woman in iddah may go out for her needs by day, divorced or widowed, because of Jābir's report about his aunt harvesting her palms, and a report from Mujāhid about the widows of Uḥud (talk together at one house, then each goes home to sleep). She may not spend the night anywhere but her home, nor go out at night except for necessity, because night is when harm is feared, unlike the day, when needs, livelihood and shopping are done.
5

Ibn ʿĀbidīn, Radd al-Muḥtār ʿalā al-Durr al-Mukhtār (Ḥanafī), 3:536

Open: Ibn ʿĀbidīn, Radd al-Muḥtār ʿalā al-Durr al-Mukhtār (Ḥanafī), 3:536 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026

Read the passage: source 5

وَوَجْهُ الدَّفْعِ أَنَّ مُعْتَدَّةَ الْمَوْتِ لَمَّا كَانَتْ فِي الْعَادَةِ مُحْتَاجَةً إلَى الْخُرُوجِ لِأَجْلِ أَنْ تَكْتَسِبَ لِلنَّفَقَةِ قَالُوا: إنَّهَا تَخْرُجُ فِي النَّهَارِ وَبَعْضِ اللَّيْلِ، بِخِلَافِ الْمُطَلَّقَةِ. وَأَمَّا الْخُرُوجُ لِلضَّرُورَةِ فَلَا فَرْقَ فِيهِ بَيْنَهُمَا كَمَا نَصُّوا عَلَيْهِ فِيمَا يَأْتِي، فَالْمُرَادُ بِهِ هُنَا غَيْرُ الضَّرُورَةِ، وَلِهَذَا بَعْدَمَا أَطْلَقَ فِي كَافِي الْحَاكِمِ مَنْعَ خُرُوجِ الْمُطَلَّقَةِ قَالَ: وَالْمُتَوَفَّى عَنْهَا زَوْجُهَا تَخْرُجُ بِالنَّهَارِ لِحَاجَتِهَا وَلَا تَبِيتُ فِي غَيْرِ مَنْزِلِهَا

Ibn ʿĀbidīn: because the widow is usually in need of going out to earn her maintenance, they said she goes out by day and part of the night, unlike the divorced woman; going out for necessity is the same for both. al-Kāfī of al-Ḥākim says: the widow goes out by day for her need and does not spend the night anywhere but her home.

4 more sources

6

Ibn ʿĀbidīn, Radd al-Muḥtār ʿalā al-Durr al-Mukhtār (Ḥanafī), 3:535–536

Open: Ibn ʿĀbidīn, Radd al-Muḥtār ʿalā al-Durr al-Mukhtār (Ḥanafī), 3:535–536 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026

Read the passage: source 6

وَلَا تَخْرُجُ مُعْتَدَّةُ رَجْعِيٍّ وَبَائِنٌ) بِأَيِّ فُرْقَةٍ كَانَتْ عَلَى مَا فِي الظَّهِيرِيَّةِ وَلَوْ مُخْتَلِعَةً عَلَى نَفَقَةِ عِدَّتِهَا فِي الْأَصَحِّ اخْتِيَارٌ، أَوْ عَلَى السُّكْنَى فَيَلْزَمُهَا أَنْ تَكْتَرِيَ بَيْتَ الزَّوْجِ مِعْرَاجٌ (لَوْ حُرَّةً) أَوْ أَمَةً مُبَوَّأَةً وَلَوْ مِنْ فَاسِدٍ (مُكَلَّفَةً مِنْ بَيْتِهَا أَصْلًا) لَا لَيْلًا وَلَا نَهَارًا … وَتَعْتَدَّانِ) أَيْ مُعْتَدَّةُ طَلَاقٍ وَمَوْتٍ (فِي بَيْتٍ وَجَبَتْ فِيهِ) وَلَا يَخْرُجَانِ مِنْهُ (إلَّا أَنْ تُخْرَجَ أَوْ يَتَهَدَّمَ الْمَنْزِلُ، أَوْ تَخَافُ) انْهِدَامَهُ، أَوْ (تَلَفَ مَالِهَا، أَوْ لَا تَجِدَ كِرَاءَ الْبَيْتِ) وَنَحْوَ ذَلِكَ مِنْ الضَّرُورَاتِ فَتَخْرُجُ لِأَقْرَبِ مَوْضِعٍ إلَيْهِ

A woman in the iddah of a revocable or a final divorce does not leave her home at all, by night or by day. Both the divorced woman and the widow keep the iddah in the house where it began and do not leave it, unless she is put out, the house falls or she fears it will, she fears for her property, she cannot find the rent, or similar necessities; then she moves to the nearest place.
7

al-Dasūqī, Ḥāshiyah ʿalā al-Sharḥ al-Kabīr of al-Dardīr (Mālikī), 2:486

Open: al-Dasūqī, Ḥāshiyah ʿalā al-Sharḥ al-Kabīr of al-Dardīr (Mālikī), 2:486 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026

Read the passage: source 7

(أَوْ لِعُذْرٍ) أَيْ كَانْتِقَالِ بَدْوِيَّةٍ وَكَانْتِقَالٍ لِعُذْرٍ فَالْمَعْطُوفُ مَحْذُوفٌ أَيْ يَجُوزُ لِلْمُعْتَدَّةِ أَنْ تَنْتَقِلَ لِعُذْرٍ (لَا يُمْكِنُ الْمُقَامُ مَعَهُ بِمَسْكَنِهَا) (كَسُقُوطِهِ أَوْ خَوْفِ جَارِ سُوءٍ) أَوْ لُصُوصٍ (وَ) إذَا انْتَقَلَتْ (لَزِمَتْ الثَّانِيَ) إلَّا لِعُذْرٍ (وَ) إذَا انْتَقَلَتْ لَزِمَتْ (الثَّالِثَ) وَهَكَذَا، فَإِذَا انْتَقَلَتْ لِغَيْرِ عُذْرٍ رُدَّتْ بِالْقَضَاءِ قَهْرًا عَنْهَا.

A woman in iddah may move for an excuse that makes staying in her home impossible, such as its falling down or fear of a bad neighbor or thieves; she then keeps to the second home (and the third, and so on) unless there is an excuse. If she moves without an excuse she is returned by the court.
8

Ibn ʿĀbidīn, Radd al-Muḥtār ʿalā al-Durr al-Mukhtār (Ḥanafī), 3:520

Open: Ibn ʿĀbidīn, Radd al-Muḥtār ʿalā al-Durr al-Mukhtār (Ḥanafī), 3:520 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026

Read the passage: source 8

(وَمَبْدَأُ الْعِدَّةِ بَعْدَ الطَّلَاقِ وَ) بَعْدَ (الْمَوْتِ) عَلَى الْفَوْرِ (وَتَنْقَضِي الْعِدَّةُ وَإِنْ جَهِلَتْ) الْمَرْأَةُ (بِهِمَا) أَيْ بِالطَّلَاقِ وَالْمَوْتِ لِأَنَّهَا أَجَلٌ فَلَا يُشْتَرَطُ الْعِلْمُ بِمُضِيِّهِ

The iddah begins right after the divorce or the death, and it ends even if the woman did not know of them, because it is a term, and knowing that it has passed is not a condition.
9

Ibn Qudāmah, al-Mughnī (Ḥanbalī), Maktabat al-Qāhirah edition, 8:170

Open: Ibn Qudāmah, al-Mughnī (Ḥanbalī), Maktabat al-Qāhirah edition, 8:170 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026

Read the passage: source 9

مَسْأَلَةٌ: قَالَ: (وَإِذَا طَلَّقَهَا زَوْجُهَا، أَوْ مَاتَ عَنْهَا، وَهُوَ نَاءٍ عَنْهَا، فَعِدَّتُهَا مِنْ يَوْمِ مَاتَ أَوْ طَلَّقَ، إذَا صَحَّ ذَلِكَ عِنْدَهَا، وَإِنْ لَمْ تَجْتَنِبْ مَا تَجْتَنِبُهُ الْمُعْتَدَّةُ) هَذَا الْمَشْهُورُ فِي الْمَذْهَبِ، وَأَنَّهُ مَتَى مَاتَ زَوْجُهَا أَوْ طَلَّقَهَا، فَعِدَّتُهَا مِنْ يَوْمِ مَوْتِهِ وَطَلَاقِهِ. قَالَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ لَا خِلَافَ عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّهِ أَعْلَمُهُ، أَنَّ الْعِدَّةَ تَجِبُ مِنْ حِينِ الْمَوْتِ وَالطَّلَاقِ، إلَّا مَا رَوَاهُ إِسْحَاقُ بْنُ إبْرَاهِيمَ وَهَذَا قَوْلُ ابْنِ عُمَرَ، وَابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ، وَابْنِ مَسْعُودٍ، وَمَسْرُوقٍ، وَعَطَاءٍ، وَجَابِرِ بْنِ زَيْدٍ، وَابْنِ سِيرِينَ، وَمُجَاهِدٍ، وَسَعِيدِ بْنِ جُبَيْرٍ، وَعِكْرِمَةَ، وَطَاوُسٍ، وَسُلَيْمَانِ بْنِ يَسَارٍ، وَأَبِي قِلَابَةَ، وَأَبِي الْعَالِيَةِ، وَالنَّخَعِيِّ، وَنَافِعٍ، وَمَالِكٍ، وَالثَّوْرِيِّ، وَالشَّافِعِيِّ، وَإِسْحَاقَ، وَأَبِي عُبَيْدٍ، وَأَبِي ثَوْرٍ وَأَصْحَابِ الرَّأْيِ وَعَنْ. أَحْمَدَ: إنَّ قَامَتْ بِذَلِكَ بَيِّنَةٌ، فَكَمَا ذَكَرْنَا. وَإِلَّا فَعِدَّتُهَا مِنْ يَوْمِ يَأْتِيهَا الْخَبَرُ.

(al-Khiraqī:) If her husband divorces her or dies while far from her, her iddah runs from the day he died or divorced her, once that is established to her, even if she did not avoid what a woman in iddah avoids. This is the well-known view of the school; a report from Aḥmad says that if there is proof, it is as stated, and otherwise her iddah runs from the day the news reaches her.