iddah the waiting period, step by step

What exactly can’t I wear or use during my iddah?

Mourning (iḥdād) means setting aside adornment for the length of the iddah: perfume, jewelry (even a ring), kohl and makeup worn for beauty, henna, and clothes dyed to look beautiful.1234 It is about adornment of your body and clothes, not your home, and not about how sad you look; washing and keeping clean are not adornment.56 Kohl or eye ointment needed as treatment is allowed, with conditions that differ by school.3678

What the four schools say

The schools agree on the core: no perfume, no jewelry, no kohl or makeup for beauty, no henna, no clothes dyed for beauty. They differ on unscented oil, and on the details of kohl used as treatment.

  • Ḥanafī الحنفية

    Mourning is leaving adornment: jewelry of every kind, silk, combing with a fine-toothed comb, perfume (even if her only earning is in it), oil even without perfume such as pure olive oil, kohl, henna, and clothes dyed with safflower, saffron or red clay, except for an excuse such as eye pain, an itch or a headache, because that is treatment. It is a right of the Sharīʿah, kept even if her husband told her not to.614

  • Mālikī المالكية

    She leaves dyed clothes, all jewelry even an iron ring, perfume and working or trading in it if she handles it herself, combing with henna or katam dye, and kohl even unscented, except out of necessity (meaning illness), wiping it off by day if it is scented. Unscented oil, lote leaves (sidr) and removing pubic hair are allowed.711

  • Shāfiʿī الشافعية

    Iḥdād is leaving adornment in clothes, jewelry and perfume. Clothes dyed for adornment and all jewelry, gold or silver, even a ring, are forbidden (one scholar allowed a silver ring; the majority did not). Perfume and oiling the hair are forbidden; unscented oil on the body is allowed. Black kohl is forbidden; if she needs it for eye disease she applies it at night and wipes it off by day, and by day too if necessity calls.3

  • Ḥanbalī الحنابلة

    The widow avoids perfume, adornment and kohl with ithmid.15 Al-Mughnī, following al-Khiraqī, adds the niqāb; the later Ḥanbalī text Kashshāf al-Qināʿ says the niqāb is not forbidden to her, “contrary to al-Khiraqī”.1516 Scented oils are not allowed; unscented oils such as olive oil are fine. Henna, makeup and decorating the face and hands are forbidden.17 If she needs ithmid as treatment, she applies it at night and wipes it off by day.8 All jewelry is forbidden, even a ring.4

What can change this

  • Treatment is not adornment: kohl or ointment needed for the eyes, and oil for a headache in the Ḥanafī text, are allowed.3678 The report that says “at night only” (Abū Dāwūd 2305) is graded weak (ḍaʿīf) by al-Albānī; the schools that keep the night rule give it in their own words.9
  • Mourning is in the body, not the house: nice bedding, curtains and furniture are not part of it.56
  • Grief is not forbidden. The Prophet ﷺ wept when his son Ibrāhīm was dying and said, “this is mercy… the eyes are shedding tears and the heart is grieved.”10 Iḥdād is defined in the books as leaving adornment, not as showing grief.311
  • Mourning for anyone other than a husband is limited to three days.12
  • If you missed some of the mourning, out of not knowing or otherwise, your iddah still ends on time; the Shāfiʿī and Ḥanbalī texts say so.513

Sources

  1. 1

    Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5341 · None shown on sunnah.com (Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī)

    Open: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 5341 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026
    Read the passage: source 1

    كُنَّا نُنْهَى أَنْ نُحِدَّ عَلَى مَيِّتٍ فَوْقَ ثَلاَثٍ، إِلاَّ عَلَى زَوْجٍ أَرْبَعَةَ أَشْهُرٍ وَعَشْرًا، وَلاَ نَكْتَحِلَ، وَلاَ نَطَّيَّبَ، وَلاَ نَلْبَسَ ثَوْبًا مَصْبُوغًا، إِلاَّ ثَوْبَ عَصْبٍ، وَقَدْ رُخِّصَ لَنَا عِنْدَ الطُّهْرِ إِذَا اغْتَسَلَتْ إِحْدَانَا مِنْ مَحِيضِهَا فِي نُبْذَةٍ مِنْ كُسْتِ أَظْفَارٍ، وَكُنَّا نُنْهَى عَنِ اتِّبَاعِ الْجَنَائِزِ

    Narrated Um 'Atiyya: We were forbidden to mourn for more than three days for a dead person, except for a husband, for whom a wife should mourn for four months and ten days (while in the mourning period) we were not allowed to put kohl in our eyes, nor perfume our-selves, nor wear dyed clothes, except a garment of 'Asb (special clothes made in Yemen). But it was permissible for us that when one of us became clean from her menses and took a bath, she could use a piece of a certain kind of incense. And it was forbidden for us to follow funeral processions.

  2. 2

    Sunan Abī Dāwūd 2304 · Sahih (Al-Albani)

    Open: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 2304 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026
    Read the passage: source 2

    Narrated Umm Salamah, Ummul Mu'minin: The Prophet (ﷺ) said: A woman whose husband has died must not wear clothes dyed with safflower (usfur) or with red ochre (mishq) and ornaments. She must not apply henna and collyrium.

  3. 3

    al-Nawawī, Rawḍat al-Ṭālibīn (Shāfiʿī), 8:405–407

    Open: al-Nawawī, Rawḍat al-Ṭālibīn (Shāfiʿī), 8:405–407 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026
    Read the passage: source 3

    فرع في كيفية الإحداد وهو ترك التزين بالثياب والحلي والطيب . النوع الأول : الثياب ، ولا يحرم جنس القطن والصوف ، والوبر والشعر ، [ ص: 406 ] والكتان والقصب والدبيقي ، بل يجوز لبس المنسوج منها على أنواع اختلاف ألوانها الخلقية وإن كانت نفيسة ناعمة ، لأن نفاستها من أصل الخلقة ، لا من زينة دخلت عليها . وأما الإبريسم ، فقال الجمهور : هو كالكتان فلا يحرم ما لم تحدث فيه زينة . وقال القفال : يحرم ، واختاره الإمام والغزالي والمتولي ، فعلى هذا ، لا تلبس العتابي الذي غلب فيه الإبريسم ، ولها لبس الخز قطعا . ولو صبغ ما لا يحرم في جنسه ، نظر في صبغه ، إن كان مما يقصد منه الزينة غالبا ، كالأحمر والأصفر ، حرم لبسه إن كان لينا ، وكذا إن كان خشنا على المشهور ، وهو نصه في " الأم " ويدخل في هذا القسم ، الديباج المنقش ، والحرير الملون ، فيحرمان . والمصبوغ غزله قبل النسج كالبرود حرام على الأصح ، كالمصبوغ بعد النسج ، وإن كان الصبغ مما لا يقصد به الزينة ، بل يعمل للمصيبة واحتمال الوسخ كالأسود والكحلي ، فلها لبسه وهو أبلغ في الحداد ، بل في " الحاوي " وجه أنه يلزمها السواد في الحداد … وإن كان الصبغ مترددا بين الزينة وغيرها ، كالأخضر والأزرق ، فإن كان براقا صافي اللون فحرام ، وإن كان كدرا أو مشبعا ، أو أكهب وهو الذي يضرب إلى الغبرة ، جاز … النوع الثاني : الحلي ، فيحرم عليها لبسه ، سواء فيه الخلخال والسوار والخاتم وغيرها ، والذهب والفضة ، وقال الإمام : يجوز لها التختم بخاتم الفضة كالرجل ، وبالأول قطع الجمهور … النوع الثالث : الطيب فيحرم عليها الطيب في بدنها وثيابها ، وتفصيل الطيب سبق في " كتاب الحج " ، ويحرم دهن رأسها بكل دهن . ولو كان لها لحية ، حرم دهنها وإن لم يكن في الدهن طيب ، لأنه زينة ، ويجوز لها دهن البدن بما لا طيب فيه ، كالزيت و الشيرج والسمن ، ولا بما فيه طيب كدهن البان والبنفسج ، ويحرم عليها أكل طعام فيه طيب ، ويحرم أن تكتحل بما فيه طيب . وأما ما لا طيب فيه ، فإن كان أسود وهو الإثمد ، فحرام على البيضاء قطعا ، وكذا على السوداء على المشهور والصحيح ، لإطلاق الأحاديث فيه ، فإن احتاجت إلى الاكتحال به لرمد وغيره ، اكتحلت به ليلا ومسحته نهارا ، فإن دعت ضرورة إلى الاستعمال نهارا أيضا جاز ، ويجوز استعماله في غير العين ، إلا الحاجب ، فإنه تتزين به فيه . وأما الكحل الأصفر وهو الصبر ، فحرام على السوداء ، وكذا على البيضاء على الأصح ، لأنه يحسن العين . ويحرم أيضا أن تطلي به وجهها ، لأنه يصفر الوجه ، فهو كالخضاب . وأما الكحل الأبيض كالتوتياء ونحوه ، فلا يحرم ، إذ لا زينة فيه . وقيل : يحرم على البيضاء حيث تتزين به ، والصحيح الأول

    Iḥdād is leaving adornment in clothes, jewelry and perfume. Cotton, wool, linen and the like are not forbidden in their natural colors even if fine and soft, since their fineness is in their making, not adornment added to them. A dye usually meant for adornment, such as red or yellow, is forbidden. A dye not meant for adornment but used for mourning or to hide dirt, such as black and dark blue, she may wear, and it suits mourning best; al-Ḥāwī even reports a view that black is required. Colors between the two, such as green and blue, are forbidden if bright and clear, allowed if dull or dark. Jewelry is forbidden, anklets, bracelets, rings, gold and silver (al-Imām allowed a silver ring; the majority did not). Perfume on body and clothes is forbidden; oiling the head with any oil is forbidden; oiling the body with unscented oil such as olive oil or ghee is allowed. Black kohl (ithmid) is forbidden; if she needs it for eye disease she applies it at night and wipes it off by day, and by day too if necessity calls. White medicinal kohl (tutty) is not forbidden.

  4. 4

    Ibn Qudāmah, al-Mughnī (Ḥanbalī), Maktabat al-Qāhirah ed., 8:157–158

    Open: Ibn Qudāmah, al-Mughnī (Ḥanbalī), Maktabat al-Qāhirah ed., 8:157–158 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026
    Read the passage: source 4

    الْقِسْمُ الثَّانِي: زِينَةُ الثِّيَابِ، فَتَحْرُمُ عَلَيْهَا الثِّيَابُ الْمُصْبَغَةُ لِلتَّحْسِينِ، كَالْمُعَصْفَرِ، وَالْمُزَعْفَرِ، وَسَائِرِ الْأَحْمَرِ، وَسَائِرِ الْمُلَوَّنِ لِلتَّحْسِينِ، كَالْأَزْرَقِ الصَّافِي … فَأَمَّا مَا لَا يُقْصَدُ بِصَبْغِهِ حُسْنُهُ، كَالْكُحْلِيِّ، وَالْأَسْوَدِ، وَالْأَخْضَرِ الْمُشْبَعِ، فَلَا تُمْنَعُ مِنْهُ؛ لِأَنَّهُ لَيْسَ بِزِينَةٍ … وَلَا تُمْنَعُ مِنْ حِسَانِ الثِّيَابِ غَيْرِ الْمَصْبُوغَةِ، وَإِنْ كَانَ رَقِيقًا، سَوَاءٌ كَانَ مِنْ قُطْنٍ أَوْ كَتَّانٍ أَوْ إبْرَيْسَمٍ … فَيَحْرُمُ عَلَيْهَا لُبْسُ الْحُلِيِّ كُلِّهِ، حَتَّى الْخَاتَمِ، فِي قَوْلِ عَامَّةِ أَهْلِ الْعِلْمِ … وَالثَّالِثُ مِمَّا تَجْتَنِبُهُ الْحَادَّةُ النِّقَابُ، وَمَا فِي مَعْنَاهُ، مِثْلُ الْبُرْقُعِ وَنَحْوِهِ؛ لِأَنَّ الْمُعْتَدَّةَ مُشَبَّهَةٌ بِالْمُحْرِمَةِ وَالْمُحْرِمَةُ تُمْنَعُ مِنْ ذَلِكَ، وَإِذَا احْتَاجَتْ إلَى سَتْرِ وَجْهِهَا أَسْدَلَتْ عَلَيْهِ كَمَا تَفْعَلُ الْمُحْرِمَةُ

    Clothes dyed to beautify are forbidden, such as safflower and saffron, red, and colors meant to beautify such as clear blue. What is dyed without meaning beauty, such as dark blue, black and deep green, she is not barred from, because it is not adornment. She is not barred from beautiful undyed clothes, even fine, whether cotton, linen or silk. All jewelry is forbidden, even a ring, in the view of most scholars. She avoids the niqāb and the like, as a woman in iḥrām does; if she needs to cover her face she lets a cloth hang down over it.

  5. 5

    al-Nawawī, Rawḍat al-Ṭālibīn (Shāfiʿī), 8:407–408

    Open: al-Nawawī, Rawḍat al-Ṭālibīn (Shāfiʿī), 8:407–408 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026
    Read the passage: source 5

    فرع يجوز للمحدة التزيين في الفرش والبسط والستور وأثاث البيت ، لأن الحداد في [ ص: 408 ] البدن ، لا في الفرش ، ويجوز التنظيف بغسل الرأس ، والامتشاط ، ودخول الحمام ، وقلم الأظفار ، والاستحداد وإزالة الأوساخ ، فإنها ليست من الزينة … فرع لو تركت الإحداد الواجب عليها في كل المدة أو بعضها ، عصت وانقضت عدتها . وكذا لو تركت ملازمة المسكن وخرجت من غير حاجة ، عصت وانقضت عدتها بمضي المدة ، كما لو بلغها وفاة الزوج بعد مضي أربعة أشهر وعشر ، كانت العدة منقضية

    A woman in mourning may have nice bedding, carpets, curtains and furnishings, because mourning is in the body, not the furnishings. Cleaning herself is allowed: washing her head, combing, going to the bathhouse, cutting her nails, removing pubic hair and removing dirt, for these are not adornment. If she leaves the obligatory mourning for all or part of the time, she has sinned and her iddah still ends; likewise if the news of her husband’s death reached her after four months and ten days had passed, her iddah had already ended.

12 more sources, 6 to 17
  1. 6

    Ibn ʿĀbidīn, Radd al-Muḥtār ʿalā al-Durr al-Mukhtār (Ḥanafī), Ḥalabī ed., 3:532

    Open: Ibn ʿĀbidīn, Radd al-Muḥtār ʿalā al-Durr al-Mukhtār (Ḥanafī), Ḥalabī ed., 3:532 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026
    Read the passage: source 6

    رَاجِعٍ لِلْجَمِيعِ إذْ الضَّرُورَاتُ تُبِيحُ الْمَحْظُورَاتِ، وَلَا بَأْسَ بِأَسْوَدَ وَأَزْرَقَ وَمُعَصْفَرٍ خَلَقٍ لَا رَائِحَةَ لَهُ … (قَوْلُهُ: رَاجِعٌ لِلْجَمِيعِ) فَإِنْ كَانَ وَجَعٌ بِالْعَيْنِ فَتَكْتَحِلُ، أَوْ حَكَّةٌ فَتَلْبَسُ الْحَرِيرَ، أَوْ تَشْتَكِي رَأْسَهَا فَتَدْهُنُ وَتَمْشُطُ بِالْأَسْنَانِ الْغَلِيظَةِ الْمُتَبَاعِدَةِ مِنْ غَيْرِ إرَادَةِ الزِّينَةِ لِأَنَّ هَذَا تَدَاوٍ لَا زِينَةٌ جَوْهَرَةٌ. قَالَ فِي الْفَتْحِ: وَفِي الْكَافِي إلَّا إذَا لَمْ يَكُنْ لَهَا ثَوْبٌ إلَّا الْمَصْبُوغُ فَإِنَّهُ لَا بَأْسَ بِهِ لِضَرُورَةِ سَتْرِ الْعَوْرَةِ، لَكِنْ لَا تَقْصِدُ الزِّينَةَ … (قَوْلُهُ: وَلَا بَأْسَ بِأَسْوَدَ) فِي الْفَتْحِ: وَيُبَاحُ لَهَا لُبْسُ الْأَسْوَدِ عِنْدَ الْأَئِمَّةِ الْأَرْبَعَةِ … [تَنْبِيهٌ] مُقْتَضَى اقْتِصَارِهِمْ عَلَى مَنْعِهَا مِمَّا مَرَّ أَنَّ الْإِحْدَادَ خَاصٌّ بِالْبَدَلِ، فَلَا تُمْنَعُ مِنْ تَجْمِيلِ فِرَاشٍ وَأَثَاثِ بَيْتٍ، وَجُلُوسٍ عَلَى حَرِيرٍ كَمَا نَصَّ عَلَيْهِ الشَّافِعِيَّةُ. وَنُقِلَ فِي الْمِعْرَاجِ أَنَّ عِنْدَ الْأَئِمَّةِ الثَّلَاثَةِ لَهَا أَنْ تَدْخُلَ الْحَمَّامَ وَتَغْسِلَ رَأْسَهَا بِالْخِطْمِيِّ وَالسِّدْرِ اهـ وَلَمْ يُذْكَرْ حُكْمُهُ عِنْدَنَا. قَالَ فِي الْبَحْرِ: وَاقْتِصَارُ الْمُصَنِّفِ عَلَى تَرْكِ مَا ذُكِرَ يُفِيدُ جَوَازَ دُخُولِ الْحَمَّامِ لَهَا

    The exception for an excuse covers all of these, since necessity permits what is otherwise barred: with eye pain she uses kohl, with an itch she wears silk, with a headache she oils her hair and combs it with a wide-toothed comb, not meaning adornment, because that is treatment. Al-Fatḥ, from al-Kāfī: if her only garment is a dyed one, there is no harm in it, for the need to cover, without meaning adornment. There is no harm in black, blue, or old safflower-dyed clothes with no scent. From al-Fatḥ: wearing black is permitted to her according to the four imams. Mourning concerns her body: she is not barred from a nicely furnished bed and home. Al-Miʿrāj reports that the other three imams allow her the bathhouse and washing her head with marshmallow and lote leaves; al-Baḥr says the matn’s list implies the bathhouse is permitted to her.

  2. 7

    al-Dardīr, al-Sharḥ al-Kabīr, with Ḥāshiyat al-Dasūqī (Mālikī), 2:479

    Open: al-Dardīr, al-Sharḥ al-Kabīr, with Ḥāshiyat al-Dasūqī (Mālikī), 2:479 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026
    Read the passage: source 7

    (وَالتَّطَيُّبَ وَعَمَلَهُ) أَيْ التَّطَيُّبِ؛ لِأَنَّهُ فِي مَعْنَى التَّطَيُّبِ (وَالتَّجْرَ فِيهِ) وَإِنْ لَمْ يَكُنْ لَهَا صَنْعَةٌ غَيْرَهُ إذَا كَانَتْ تُبَاشِرُ مَسَّهُ بِنَفْسِهَا، وَإِلَّا فَلَا مَنْعَ (وَ) تَرَكَتْ وُجُوبًا (التَّزَيُّنَ) أَيْ فِي بَدَنِهَا بِدَلِيلِ قَوْلِهِ (فَلَا تَمْتَشِطُ بِحِنَّاءٍ أَوْ كَتَمٍ) بِفَتْحَتَيْنِ صَبْغٌ يُذْهِبُ حُمْرَةَ الشَّعْرِ وَلَا يُسَوِّدُهُ، وَمَا تَقَدَّمَ فِي التَّزَيُّنِ بِاللِّبَاسِ (بِخِلَافِ نَحْوِ الزَّيْتِ) مِنْ كُلِّ دُهْنٍ لَا طِيبَ فِيهِ (وَالسِّدْرِ وَ) بِخِلَافِ (اسْتِحْدَادِهَا) أَيْ حَلْقِ عَانَتِهَا فَيَجُوزُ (وَلَا تَدْخُلُ الْحَمَّامَ وَلَا تَطْلِ جَسَدَهَا) بِنَوْرَةٍ (وَلَا تَكْتَحِلُ) وَلَوْ بِغَيْرِ مُطَيِّبٍ (إلَّا لِضَرُورَةٍ) فَيَجُوزُ (وَإِنْ بِمُطَيِّبٍ وَتَمْسَحُهُ نَهَارًا) وُجُوبًا حَيْثُ كَانَ مُطَيِّبًا … (قَوْلُهُ وَلَا تَدْخُلُ الْحَمَّامَ) قَالَ ابْنُ نَاجِيٍّ اُخْتُلِفَ فِي دُخُولِهَا الْحَمَّامَ، فَقِيلَ: لَا تَدْخُلُهُ أَصْلًا، وَظَاهِرُهُ وَلَوْ مِنْ ضَرُورَةٍ، وَقَالَ أَشْهَبُ: لَا تَدْخُلُهُ إلَّا مِنْ ضَرُورَةٍ وَنَحْوُهُ فِي التَّوْضِيحِ وَهُوَ يَدُلُّ عَلَى تَرْجِيحِ الثَّانِي فَيَجُوزُ دُخُولُهُ مَعَ الضَّرُورَةِ؛ لِأَنَّ الْقَوْلَ الْأَوَّلَ ظَاهِرٌ فَقَطْ لَا صَرِيحٌ، وَحِينَئِذٍ فَقَوْلُ الْمُصَنِّفِ إلَّا لِضَرُورَةٍ يَرْجِعُ لِهَذَا أَيْضًا اهـ بْن (قَوْلُهُ: إلَّا لِضَرُورَةٍ) الْمُرَادُ بِهَا الْمَرَضُ لَا مُطْلَقُ الْحَاجَةِ

    She leaves perfume, working in it and trading in it (if she handles it herself), and adornment of her body: she does not comb her hair with henna or katam dye. Unlike oil without perfume, lote leaves (sidr), and removing pubic hair, which are allowed. She does not go to the bathhouse (ḥammām), does not coat her body with depilatory paste, and does not use kohl, even unscented, except out of necessity, then even scented, wiping it off by day if scented. Al-Dasūqī: Ibn Nājī reports a difference on the bathhouse; Ashhab said not except for necessity, which is preferred; and the necessity meant is illness, not just any need.

  3. 8

    Ibn Qudāmah, al-Mughnī (Ḥanbalī), Maktabat al-Qāhirah ed., 8:157

    Open: Ibn Qudāmah, al-Mughnī (Ḥanbalī), Maktabat al-Qāhirah ed., 8:157 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026
    Read the passage: source 8

    وَإِنْ اُضْطُرَّتْ الْحَادَّةُ إلَى الْكُحْلِ بِالْإِثْمِدِ لِلتَّدَاوِي، فَلَهَا أَنْ تَكْتَحِلَ لَيْلًا، وَتَمْسَحَهُ نَهَارًا … وَلَا تُمْنَعُ مِنْ التَّنْظِيفِ بِتَقْلِيمِ الْأَظْفَارِ، وَنَتْفِ الْإِبْطِ، وَحَلْقِ الشَّعْرِ الْمَنْدُوبِ إلَى حَلْقِهِ، وَلَا مِنْ الِاغْتِسَالِ بِالسِّدْرِ، وَالِامْتِشَاطِ بِهِ، لِحَدِيثِ أُمِّ سَلَمَةَ، وَلِأَنَّهُ يُرَادُ لِلتَّنْظِيفِ لَا لِلطِّيبِ

    If she is compelled to use ithmid kohl as treatment, she may apply it at night and wipe it off by day. She is not barred from cleaning herself: cutting her nails, plucking the underarms, shaving the hair it is recommended to shave, bathing with lote leaves (sidr) and combing with it, because it is for cleanliness, not perfume.

  4. 9

    Sunan Abī Dāwūd 2305 · Da'if (Al-Albani)

    Open: Sunan Abī Dāwūd 2305 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026
    Read the passage: source 9

    لاَ تَكْتَحِلِي بِهِ إِلاَّ مِنْ أَمْرٍ لاَ بُدَّ مِنْهُ يَشْتَدُّ عَلَيْكِ فَتَكْتَحِلِينَ بِاللَّيْلِ وَتَمْسَحِينَهُ بِالنَّهَارِ ‏.‏ ثُمَّ قَالَتْ عِنْدَ ذَلِكَ أُمُّ سَلَمَةَ دَخَلَ عَلَىَّ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم حِينَ تُوُفِّيَ أَبُو سَلَمَةَ وَقَدْ جَعَلْتُ عَلَى عَيْنِي صَبِرًا فَقَالَ ‏"‏ مَا هَذَا يَا أُمَّ سَلَمَةَ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ فَقُلْتُ إِنَّمَا هُوَ صَبِرٌ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ لَيْسَ فِيهِ طِيبٌ ‏.‏ قَالَ ‏"‏ إِنَّهُ يَشُبُّ الْوَجْهَ فَلاَ تَجْعَلِيهِ إِلاَّ بِاللَّيْلِ وَتَنْزِعِينَهُ بِالنَّهَارِ وَلاَ تَمْتَشِطِي بِالطِّيبِ وَلاَ بِالْحِنَّاءِ فَإِنَّهُ خِضَابٌ ‏"‏ ‏.‏ قَالَتْ قُلْتُ بِأَىِّ شَىْءٍ أَمْتَشِطُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ قَالَ ‏"‏ بِالسِّدْرِ تُغَلِّفِينَ بِهِ رَأْسَكِ

    Umm Hakim, daughter of Usayd, reported on the authority of her mother that her husband died and she was suffering from sore eyes. [...] She said: Do not apply it except in the case of dire need which is troubling you. In that case you can use it at night, but you should remove it in the daytime. Then Umm Salamah said: The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) came to visit me when AbuSalamah died, and I had put the juice of aloes in my eye. He asked : What is this, Umm Salamah? I replied: It is only the juice of aloes and contains no perfume. He said: It gives the face a glow, so apply it only at night and remove it in daytime, and do not comb yourself with scent or henna, for it is a dye. I asked: What should I use when I comb myself, Messenger of Allah? He said: Use lote-tree leaves and smear your head copiously with them.

  5. 10

    Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1303 · None shown on sunnah.com (Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī)

    Open: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1303 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026
    Read the passage: source 10

    فَجَعَلَتْ عَيْنَا رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم تَذْرِفَانِ‏.‏ فَقَالَ لَهُ عَبْدُ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنُ عَوْفٍ ـ رضى الله عنه ـ وَأَنْتَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ فَقَالَ ‏"‏ يَا ابْنَ عَوْفٍ إِنَّهَا رَحْمَةٌ ‏"‏‏.‏ ثُمَّ أَتْبَعَهَا بِأُخْرَى فَقَالَ صلى الله عليه وسلم ‏"‏ إِنَّ الْعَيْنَ تَدْمَعُ، وَالْقَلْبَ يَحْزَنُ، وَلاَ نَقُولُ إِلاَّ مَا يَرْضَى رَبُّنَا، وَإِنَّا بِفِرَاقِكَ يَا إِبْرَاهِيمُ لَمَحْزُونُونَ

    Narrated Anas bin Malik: [...] Ibrahim was in his last breaths, and the eyes of Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) (p.b.u.h) started shedding tears. `Abdur Rahman bin `Auf said, "O Allah's Apostle, even you are weeping!" He said, "O Ibn `Auf, this is mercy." Then he wept more and said, "The eyes are shedding tears and the heart is grieved, and we will not say except what pleases our Lord, O Ibrahim ! Indeed we are grieved by your separation."

  6. 11

    al-Dardīr, al-Sharḥ al-Kabīr, with Ḥāshiyat al-Dasūqī (Mālikī), 2:478

    Open: al-Dardīr, al-Sharḥ al-Kabīr, with Ḥāshiyat al-Dasūqī (Mālikī), 2:478 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026
    Read the passage: source 11

    وَكَانَ الْإِحْدَادُ مِنْ مُتَعَلِّقَاتِ عِدَّةِ الْوَفَاةِ وَهُوَ تَرْكُ الْمَرْأَةِ الزِّينَةَ مُدَّةَ عِدَّةِ الْوَفَاةِ ذَكَرَهَا الْمُصَنِّفُ بِقَوْلِهِ (وَتَرَكَتْ) الْمَرْأَةُ (الْمُتَوَفَّى عَنْهَا) (فَقَطْ) لَا الْمُطَلَّقَةُ وُجُوبًا (وَإِنْ صَغُرَتْ) وَيَتَعَلَّقُ الْوُجُوبُ بِوَلِيِّهَا (وَلَوْ كِتَابِيَّةً) مَاتَ زَوْجُهَا الْمُسْلِمُ (وَمَفْقُودًا زَوْجُهَا) وَقَدْ حُكِمَ عَلَيْهِ بِالْمَوْتِ (التَّزْيِينَ بِالْمَصْبُوغِ) مِنْ الثِّيَابِ حَرِيرًا كَانَتْ أَوْ كَتَّانًا أَوْ قُطْنًا أَوْ صُوفًا (وَلَوْ) كَانَ (أَدْكَنَ) بِدَالِ مُهْمَلَةٍ لَوْنٌ فَوْقَ الْحُمْرَةِ وَدُونَ السَّوَادِ (إنْ وَجَدَتْ غَيْرَهُ) وَظَاهِرُهُ وَلَوْ بِبَيْعِهِ وَاسْتِخْلَافِ غَيْرِهِ (إلَّا الْأَسْوَدَ) فَلَا تَتْرُكُ لُبْسَهُ إلَّا إذَا كَانَتْ نَاصِعَةَ الْبَيَاضِ أَوْ كَانَ هُوَ زِينَةَ قَوْمٍ فَيَجِبُ تَرْكُهُ (وَ) تَرَكَتْ (التَّحَلِّيَ) أَيْ لُبْسَ الْحُلِيِّ مُطْلَقًا وَلَوْ خَاتَمًا مِنْ حَدِيدٍ وَوَجَبَ نَزْعُهُ … قَالَ فِي الْمُدَوَّنَةِ وَتَلْبَسُ الْبَيَاضَ كُلَّهُ رَقِيقَهُ وَغَلِيظَهُ قَالَ فِي التَّوْضِيحِ وَمَالَ غَيْرُ وَاحِدٍ إلَى الْمَنْعِ مِنْ رَقِيقِ الْبَيَاضِ، وَالْحَقُّ أَنَّ الْمَدَارَ فِي ذَلِكَ عَلَى الْعَوَائِدِ؛ وَلِذَا قَالَ فِي الْكَافِي: وَالصَّوَابُ أَنَّهُ لَا يَجُوزُ لُبْسُهَا لِشَيْءٍ تَتَزَيَّنُ بِهِ بَيَاضًا كَانَ أَوْ غَيْرَهُ

    Iḥdād is the woman leaving adornment for the length of the death iddah. The widow alone (not the divorced woman) must leave it, even if young, even a Christian or Jewish wife of a Muslim: adornment with dyed clothes of any fabric, even dark brown, if she has others; except black, which she does not leave unless she is very fair-skinned or it is the adornment of her people, in which case she must leave it. She leaves all jewelry, even an iron ring, and removes it when the death occurs. Al-Mudawwanah: she may wear white, fine or coarse; some inclined to forbid fine white; the truth is that it depends on custom, and al-Kāfī says what is right is that she may not wear anything she adorns herself with, white or otherwise.

  7. 12

    Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1280 · None shown on sunnah.com (Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī)

    Open: Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1280 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026
    Read the passage: source 12

    لاَ يَحِلُّ لاِمْرَأَةٍ تُؤْمِنُ بِاللَّهِ وَالْيَوْمِ الآخِرِ أَنْ تُحِدَّ عَلَى مَيِّتٍ فَوْقَ ثَلاَثٍ، إِلاَّ عَلَى زَوْجٍ، فَإِنَّهَا تُحِدُّ عَلَيْهِ أَرْبَعَةَ أَشْهُرٍ وَعَشْرًا

    Narrated Zainab bint Abi Salama: When the news of the death of Abu Sufyan reached from Sham, Um Habiba on the third day, asked for a yellow perfume and scented her cheeks and forearms and said, "No doubt, I would not have been in need of this, had I not heard the Prophet (ﷺ) saying: "It is not legal for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn for more than three days for any dead person except her husband, for whom she should mourn for four months and ten days."

  8. 13

    Ibn Qudāmah, al-Mughnī (Ḥanbalī), Maktabat al-Qāhirah ed., 8:170

    Open: Ibn Qudāmah, al-Mughnī (Ḥanbalī), Maktabat al-Qāhirah ed., 8:170 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026
    Read the passage: source 13

    (وَإِذَا طَلَّقَهَا زَوْجُهَا، أَوْ مَاتَ عَنْهَا، وَهُوَ نَاءٍ عَنْهَا، فَعِدَّتُهَا مِنْ يَوْمِ مَاتَ أَوْ طَلَّقَ، إذَا صَحَّ ذَلِكَ عِنْدَهَا، وَإِنْ لَمْ تَجْتَنِبْ مَا تَجْتَنِبُهُ الْمُعْتَدَّةُ) هَذَا الْمَشْهُورُ فِي الْمَذْهَبِ، وَأَنَّهُ مَتَى مَاتَ زَوْجُهَا أَوْ طَلَّقَهَا، فَعِدَّتُهَا مِنْ يَوْمِ مَوْتِهِ وَطَلَاقِهِ. قَالَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ لَا خِلَافَ عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللَّهِ أَعْلَمُهُ، أَنَّ الْعِدَّةَ تَجِبُ مِنْ حِينِ الْمَوْتِ وَالطَّلَاقِ، إلَّا مَا رَوَاهُ إِسْحَاقُ بْنُ إبْرَاهِيمَ وَهَذَا قَوْلُ ابْنِ عُمَرَ، وَابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ، وَابْنِ مَسْعُودٍ، وَمَسْرُوقٍ، وَعَطَاءٍ، وَجَابِرِ بْنِ زَيْدٍ، وَابْنِ سِيرِينَ، وَمُجَاهِدٍ، وَسَعِيدِ بْنِ جُبَيْرٍ، وَعِكْرِمَةَ، وَطَاوُسٍ، وَسُلَيْمَانِ بْنِ يَسَارٍ، وَأَبِي قِلَابَةَ، وَأَبِي الْعَالِيَةِ، وَالنَّخَعِيِّ، وَنَافِعٍ، وَمَالِكٍ، وَالثَّوْرِيِّ، وَالشَّافِعِيِّ، وَإِسْحَاقَ، وَأَبِي عُبَيْدٍ، وَأَبِي ثَوْرٍ وَأَصْحَابِ الرَّأْيِ وَعَنْ. أَحْمَدَ: إنَّ قَامَتْ بِذَلِكَ بَيِّنَةٌ، فَكَمَا ذَكَرْنَا. وَإِلَّا فَعِدَّتُهَا مِنْ يَوْمِ يَأْتِيهَا الْخَبَرُ … فَإِنَّ الْإِحْدَادَ الْوَاجِبَ لَيْسَ بِشَرْطٍ فِي الْعِدَّةِ، فَلَوْ تَرَكَتْهُ قَصْدًا، أَوْ عَنْ غَيْرِ قَصْدٍ، لَانْقَضَتْ عِدَّتُهَا

    If he divorces her or dies while far from her, her iddah runs from the day he died or divorced, once that is established for her, even if she did not avoid what a woman in iddah avoids. This is the well-known position of the school; Abū Bakr knew of no disagreement from Aḥmad except one report. It is also the view of Ibn ʿUmar, Ibn ʿAbbās, Ibn Masʿūd, Mālik, al-Thawrī, al-Shāfiʿī, Isḥāq and the Ḥanafīs. A report from Aḥmad: if there is clear proof (bayyinah), it is as stated; otherwise her iddah runs from the day the news reaches her. Obligatory mourning is not a condition of the iddah: if she left it, deliberately or not, her iddah still ends.

  9. 14

    Ibn ʿĀbidīn, Radd al-Muḥtār ʿalā al-Durr al-Mukhtār (Ḥanafī), Ḥalabī ed., 3:531

    Open: Ibn ʿĀbidīn, Radd al-Muḥtār ʿalā al-Durr al-Mukhtār (Ḥanafī), Ḥalabī ed., 3:531 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026
    Read the passage: source 14

    (إذَا كَانَتْ مُعْتَدَّةَ بَتٍّ، أَوْ مَوْتٍ) وَإِنْ أَمَرَهَا الْمُطَلِّقُ، أَوْ الْمَيِّتُ بِتَرْكِهِ لِأَنَّهُ حَقُّ الشَّرْعِ، إظْهَارًا لِلتَّأَسُّفِ عَلَى فَوَاتِ النِّكَاحِ (بِتَرْكِ الزِّينَةِ) بِحُلِيٍّ أَوْ حَرِيرٍ، أَوْ امْتِشَاطٍ بِضَيِّقِ الْأَسْنَانِ (وَالطِّيبِ) وَإِنْ لَمْ يَكُنْ لَهَا كَسْبٌ إلَّا فِيهِ (وَالدُّهْنِ) وَلَوْ بِلَا طِيبٍ كَزَيْتٍ خَالِصٍ (وَالْكُحْلِ وَالْحِنَّاءِ وَلُبْسِ الْمُعَصْفَرِ وَالْمُزَعْفَرِ) وَمَصْبُوغٍ بِمَغْرَةٍ، أَوْ وَرْسٍ (إلَّا بِعُذْرٍ) … مُعْتَدَّةُ الْمَوْتِ فَيَجِبُ عَلَيْهَا الْعِدَّةُ، وَلَوْ كَانَتْ غَيْرَ مَدْخُولَةٍ فَيَجِبُ فِيهَا الْحِدَادُ

    She mourns (iḥdād) when in the iddah of a final divorce or of death, even if the divorcing or dead husband told her not to, because it is a right of the Sharīʿah, showing sorrow at the loss of the marriage. Mourning is leaving adornment: jewelry, silk, combing with a fine-toothed comb, perfume (even if her only earning is in it), oil even without perfume such as pure olive oil, kohl, henna, and clothes dyed with safflower, saffron, red clay or wars, except for an excuse. The iddah of death, and with it mourning, is owed even if the marriage was not consummated.

  10. 15

    Ibn Qudāmah, al-Mughnī (Ḥanbalī), Maktabat al-Qāhirah ed., 8:154

    Open: Ibn Qudāmah, al-Mughnī (Ḥanbalī), Maktabat al-Qāhirah ed., 8:154 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026
    Read the passage: source 15

    وَتَجْتَنِبُ الزَّوْجَةِ الْمُتَوَفَّى عَنْهَا زَوْجُهَا الطِّيبَ وَالزِّينَةَ، وَالْبَيْتُوتَةَ فِي غَيْرِ مَنْزِلِهَا، وَالْكُحْلَ بِالْإِثْمِدِ، وَالنِّقَابَ هَذَا يُسَمَّى الْإِحْدَادَ، وَلَا نَعْلَمُ بَيْنَ أَهْلِ الْعِلْمِ خِلَافًا فِي وُجُوبِهِ عَلَى الْمُتَوَفَّى عَنْهَا زَوْجُهَا، إلَّا عَنْ الْحَسَنِ، فَإِنَّهُ قَالَ: لَا يَجِبُ الْإِحْدَادُ

    The widow avoids perfume, adornment, spending the night away from her home, kohl with ithmid, and the niqāb; this is called iḥdād. We know of no disagreement among scholars that it is obligatory on the widow, except al-Ḥasan, who said it is not obligatory.

  11. 16

    al-Buhūtī, Kashshāf al-Qināʿ (Ḥanbalī), ed. Muṣayliḥī, 5:430

    Open: al-Buhūtī, Kashshāf al-Qināʿ (Ḥanbalī), ed. Muṣayliḥī, 5:430 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026
    Read the passage: source 16

    (وَلَا) يَحْرُمُ عَلَيْهَا نِقَابٌ خِلَافًا لِلْخِرَقِيِّ، لِأَنَّهُ لَيْسَ فِي مَعْنَى الْمَنْصُوصِ عَلَيْهِ وَقِيَاسُ الْمُعْتَدَّةِ بِالْمُحْرِمَةِ مَرْدُودٌ بِأَنَّ الْمُحْرِمَةَ يَحْرُمُ عَلَيْهَا لِبْسُ الْقُفَّازَيْنِ وَيُبَاحُ لَهَا سَائِرُ الثِّيَابِ وَلَا كَذَلِكَ الْمُعْتَدَّةُ

    The niqāb is not forbidden to her, contrary to al-Khiraqī, because it is not within the meaning of what the texts name; likening the woman in iddah to the woman in iḥrām is rejected, since the woman in iḥrām is barred from gloves and allowed other clothes, which is not so for the woman in iddah.

  12. 17

    Ibn Qudāmah, al-Mughnī (Ḥanbalī), Maktabat al-Qāhirah ed., 8:156

    Open: Ibn Qudāmah, al-Mughnī (Ḥanbalī), Maktabat al-Qāhirah ed., 8:156 ↗checked Oct 18, 2026
    Read the passage: source 17

    وَلَا يَجُوزُ لَهَا اسْتِعْمَالُ الْأَدْهَانِ الْمُطَيِّبَةِ، كَدُهْنِ الْوَرْدِ وَالْبَنَفْسَجِ وَالْيَاسَمِينِ وَالْبَانِ، وَمَا أَشْبَهُهُ؛ لِأَنَّهُ اسْتِعْمَالٌ لِلطِّيبِ. فَأَمَّا الْأَدْهَانُ بِغَيْرِ الْمُطَيَّبِ، كَالزَّيْتِ وَالشَّيْرَجِ وَالسَّمْنِ، فَلَا بَأْسَ بِهِ؛ لِأَنَّهُ لَيْسَ بِطِيبٍ … فَيَحْرُمُ عَلَيْهَا أَنْ تَخْتَضِبَ، وَأَنْ تُحَمِّرَ وَجْهَهَا بالكلكون، وَأَنْ تُبَيِّضَهُ بأسفيداج الْعَرَائِسِ، وَأَنْ تَجْعَلَ عَلَيْهِ صَبْرًا يُصَفِّرُهُ، وَأَنْ تَنْقُشَ وَجْهَهَا وَيَدَيْهَا، وَأَنْ تُحَفِّفَ وَجْهَهَا، وَمَا أَشْبَهَهُ مِمَّا يُحْسِنهَا، وَأَنْ تَكْتَحِلَ بِالْإِثْمِدِ مِنْ غَيْرِ ضَرُورَةٍ

    She may not use scented oils such as rose, violet or jasmine oil, because that is using perfume. Unscented oils such as olive oil, sesame oil and ghee are fine, because they are not perfume. Adornment of her person is forbidden: dyeing with henna, reddening or whitening her face with cosmetics, yellowing it, decorating her face and hands, plucking her face and the like, and kohl with ithmid without necessity.

Pending scholarly review · Every point here is from the sources cited. It has not yet been reviewed by a scholar.

Sources checked (7 Jumādā al-Ūlā 1448)

Not a fatwā · Something wrong? Email us. Please don’t include personal details.